after all the "gurgles" with weird-taste liquid and antibiotics. seriously, inflammation. from talking too much, haha. hard to believe. but all in all, i just want my voice back fully!
it's such a scary feeling to not be able to talk.
like i went to mr.bean and it was so hard to even order a warm soy bean drink. that's just one, of the many 'huhs' and weird looks from people when I try to speak, or whisper, or gesture what i needed to say. i was so scared i'ld lose my voice forever, i know it's kinda silly to think in such a way, but that fear's just immense whenever nothing comes out of your vocal chord, even if you tried clearing your throat umpteenth time. went for all the AGMs and bondue bash croaking and whispering funny noises. i wouldn't pass as a good mime.
mummy's pretty voiceless now too ): and she'd got to teach sunday school and lead dorcas fellowship tomorrow. really hope that she will have her voice back, and strength from Him to survive tomorrow. I've let mummy tried gurgling the med doc gave me, hopefully it will help!
went to Tiff's house last wed night to have a 11pm-6am non stop catchup session (part of the reason why i lost my voice) but it's all worth it. haven't seen my bestie for more that 1.5 years! and am truly glad she's been safe and sound in berkeley, and heartened to hear that she's coming back singapore after graduation ((: we may end up as future colleagues too! exciting (: will be sending her off tomorrow at the airport, bon voyage bestie, will wait for you to come back again (:
and, france in 12 days' time.
i can hardly believe it, and im fearing it more than anything else.
got my visa finally yesterday (after going to embassy thrice, and bank to get mummy's statement of accounts etc)! thank God, and thank you mummy and daddy who've been praying for me all along! mummy's gotten me most of the medicine i need for France (medicine's really of utmost importance cos no one's gonna save me when I'm sick there - scary)
many asked if i've packed. well everything's either strewn on my study table, or messily arranged in my huge luggage so far! feel kinda lazy to pack all of them neatly, but I know i better get them down on monday morning/ tonight! excel sheet of packing list is still incomplete, better get it done soon too. sigh, wish I'm not going alone now, then maybe I'ld have someone else to share the load too - i got to bring mini pots and pans so that I could at least cook for the first week or something! i hope. oh yes, i haven't bought all the premixes!
oh yes, gonna teach the kids with Des for the first time tomorrow! Jesus is light (: and we'll have the 'follow the sound, guess what you eat/drink' game and treasure hunt! complete with 'give me oil in my lamp' song! (: am really looking forward to it, hopefully the kids learn and treasure the lesson too, and that it stays with them for a long, long time to come!
gonna sleep, been really tired working on annual report designs, can't wait for it to be done (: jiayou Van and Em who are still burning tonight and tomorrow night and many more nights editing it, come on' it's the last lap. for the best aye girls!
night world, i've got to learn to stop waiting sometimes.
was hopeful, still am hopeful. maybe
got to learn to be truly independent when i'm alone
"alone? you're never alone"
cos' Jesus' watching over you, always and always
(:
